The Grand House of de Medici Asimov Northamshire von Habsburg y Valois-Castille
i hereby decree as the grand empress that these set of laws be enacted upon in basis of YOU being my subjects....faithful or not I don’t care, all of you are hereby REQUIRED to abide by these sets of rules.
I shall hereby divide this imperial decree by his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS into designated parts in accordance to each set of proper division stated hereof:
CRIMES AGAINST THE STATE
1. Delaying the imperial HIGHNESS which caused her to become late with his/her/it imperial duties. Examples of which are moronic stupid drivers whoa re soooo inconsiderate with their passengers that they only frikin care with how much they would earn and owe nothing about the time constraint that their passengers are faced with.
2. Ignoring the presence of his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS which is a BLATANT disrespect towards the imperial crown and the state itself. Such of which are seen in circumstances like sales personnel who doesn’t seem to see me at all....but fortunately, which in fact RARELY happen.
3. oral defamation of his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS may it be in-my-face or backstabbing galore whichever may apply. Such offences vary in the part of the highness and may constitute different degrees according to his/her/it HIGHNESS' will. But talking shit about the imperial HIGHNESS is greatly discouraged.
4. Passing the imperial HIGHNESS' change in a very disrespectful way like as if in acts showing of disgust or simply anything that constitute disrespect. Circumstances of which are witnessed in passengers who pass the HIGHNESS' change in a manner of like almost throwing the money into his/her/it HIGHNESS' palms or anything that appears like that.
5. Touching or violating his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS' property may it be real property or human property whichever of it may apply. Such offence in the likeness of: going in near proximity with the HIGHNESS' lovers (crush or anyone who has divine imperial favors) and doing something else which threaten or perhaps caused his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS to feel a pang of jealousy or contempt, touching or using his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS' things without prior knowledge or permission in the HIGHNESS part, or anything that gravely fall under these categories inclusively or exclusively.
6. Claiming any form of imperial title to his/her self without consent by his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS may it be as simple as being a "duchess" or in more grave terms of claiming the title of imperial HIGHNESS his/herself. Such acts require the HIGHNESS approval and permission and refusal or failure to do so enacts it as a crime.
7. Any acts or set of conduct or behavior that endangers or perhaps violates his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS' status or of which in his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS' judgment be considered as a crime against the state and the imperial crown will be subjected to this section of this imperial decree with its constituting set of clauses whatsoever.
--Such acts listed above is a crime punishable by no less than the highest form of capital punishment which of course is execution nonetheless and of which there is NO PARDON applied--
CRIMES OF CONDUCT AND DECORUM
1. Blocking his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS' way may it be in a small street or anywhere which the imperial HIGHNESS' feet came to trod upon. Such acts as deliberately or undeliberately done constitutes a crime against the imperial HIGHNESS.
2. Talking crudely of things in close proximity of his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS. Such of which are talking in high voices or saying crude and absurd things in the presence of the imperial HIGHNESS or anything of which his/her/it imperial highness judges to be fit for this section in the imperial laws.
3. restricting his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS' access on places that the imperial HIGHNESS Wishes to access. such acts unless backed upon by laws higher than these, which of course under the rule of law does not exist, is considered to be an act of high disrespect to the HIGHNESS and of which in the consent of his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS can be constituted as an act of HIGH TREASON and thus be punishable by IMMEDIATE death.
4. Acting a bitch, like a bitch, or pretending as a bitch in the presence of his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS without being in part a member of the imperial HIGHNESS' circle or perhaps acquiring divine imperial favors from the imperial crown. Such an act in accordance to the above mentioned prerequisites is considered as a crime.
5. Any act that does not conform to proper acts and conduct and of which is considered vile in the presence of the imperial HIGHNESS is considered worthy of falling in this section. Acts not specified here but of which the imperial majesty wishes and found fit to fall on this category will be considered.
--Such acts listed above are crimes punishable by no less than lashing or beating and immediate exile but of which can be subjected also to execution if the imperial HIGHNESS wishes it to be--
OTHER CRIMES
1. Telling or dictating upon the imperial HIGHNESS on what to do and what ought to think and deduce upon is considered disrespectful and of which is nonetheless a crime. any form of coercive manipulation of the imperial HIGHNESS' act and judgment is totally NOT permitted unless you want your head chopped off and displayed in the city gates.
2. Commenting negatively on the imperial HIGHNESS' outfit without the consent of his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS is considered a crime of high degree. Such an act is in entirety forbidden unless the imperial HIGHNESS asked for your comment in the first place. Such an act is also ENTIRELY forbidden specially from people of no sense of style and fashion. **baga mog nawong! yaw mo pag comment kung hasta kamu murag basura manamit ok?? gosh lng**
3. Giving advices or any sort of "lessons on morality and proper conduct" towards his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS without consent or of which the imperial HIGHNESS did not ask your advice in the first place is also considered a crime. Such an act is only permitted from the members of his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS' inner circle and council of highly regarded advisers. if you do not belong to such then well just back off you bitch because you have no right to tell the imperial HIGHNESS' what to do and what ought not to do, in which case you will be breaking laws number 1 and 3 of the imperial laws under the division of other crimes.
4. Touching the imperial HIGHNESS without the imperial HIGHNESS' consent is considered a crime. Only members of his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS’ circle are allowed to do so but of which still depends upon the imperial HIGHNESS' prior approval. The law of "no touching please" should always be followed.
5. Any acts which the imperial HIGHNESS sees fit to consider in this section are to be considered. Such acts listed above are subject to changes on the judgment of his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS but the basic rules as such will apply still on all circumstances.
--such acts listed above are crimes punishable by immediate stripping off of rank and privileges if you are of noble birth or of imprisonment if you are of common birth. Such acts can also be subjected to other forms of punishment if his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS sees fit to do so--
written and signed by none other than his/her/it imperial HIGHNESS him/herself on this 26th day of August year 2007 in adherence to the divine right and privilege bestowed upon our most dear and beloved imperial HIGHNESS
"L'État, c'est moi" ("I am the State")
